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At TomKings, we know that French Bulldogs are like family. We love them as much as any parent loves their child, and we know that many of our Frenchie parents feel the same way. It’s only natural—we feed them, care for them, keep them safe, and give them all the love in the world. But as much as we see them as our babies, our Frenchies are still dogs, with instincts and behaviors deeply rooted in their ancestry. This raises an important question: Should we treat them like our little furry children, or do they need something different? In this article, we’ll explore the differences between wolf packs and human families, and explain why it’s essential to balance love and leadership in your Frenchie’s life.
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ToggleWolf Pack vs. Family: How They Function
To understand how our Frenchies think and behave, it’s important to look at two social structures they are often compared to: wolf packs and human families. While both have clear rules and roles, they operate in completely different ways.


How a Wolf Pack Works
In the wild, wolves rely on a strict hierarchy to survive. The alpha leader makes all the decisions, from when to hunt to where to sleep, and the rest of the pack follows without question. Every wolf has a role, and challenging authority is not an option—obedience and order keep the group alive.
This structured system works because wolves are born into it and instinctively understand their place. In their world, questioning authority isn’t just disobedience—it’s a risk to survival.
How a Human Family Works
In a human family, children rely on their parents for care, guidance, and protection. Parents make the important decisions at first, but over time, children are encouraged to explore, ask questions, and gain independence. The family structure is built on love, teaching, and personal growth, allowing kids to develop their own thoughts and choices.
Unlike wolves, who always follow their leader, children don’t remain dependent on their parents forever. As they grow, they learn to make their own decisions, shape their own lives, and eventually stand on their own. The goal of parenting isn’t just leadership—it’s preparing children for independence.
Is Your Frenchie a Pack Member or a Furry Child?
We all talk to our Frenchies like they’re our babies, tuck them into cozy beds, and shower them with endless love. But have you ever stopped to wonder—how does your Frenchie actually see you? Do they think of you as a loving parent who takes care of them, or do they instinctively look to you as their pack leader? To understand them better, let’s take a closer look at both sides of their nature.


How Dogs Are Like Wolves
Even though dogs have lived alongside humans for thousands of years, they still share many traits with wolves. They need a structured group with a clear leader, rules, and consistency to feel secure. Their actions are often driven by instinct rather than conscious thought, and they naturally follow those who provide strong and steady leadership. If they don’t feel that someone is in charge, they may become anxious or even try to take control themselves.
How Dogs Are Like Children
At the same time, dogs are much more dependent on humans, just like children. They rely on their owners for food, shelter, and safety. They look to you for guidance, seek comfort when they are scared, and learn through repetition and routine. Everything they need to survive comes from you, and they thrive when they feel loved and cared for.


Ultimate Guide
to Raising a Frenchie
What They Really Are
By now, you might have a guess—dogs don’t fit neatly into just one category. They have the instincts of a pack animal, but at the same time, they rely on their owners just as a child does.
The biggest difference? Unlike a child, your Frenchie will never grow up to be independent. While kids eventually learn to take care of themselves, make their own decisions, and navigate the world on their own, your dog will always depend on you. They need you to provide for them, set boundaries, and create a safe and structured environment where they can thrive.
What Happens When There’s No Clear Leadership
As Frenchie parents, we all want to give our dogs the best life possible. We shower them with love, provide them with a warm home, and make sure they never go a day without belly rubs and treats. But there’s one thing that’s just as important as love—leadership.
Your Frenchie Needs You to Be Their Leader
Frenchies, like all dogs, need structure and guidance to feel safe and secure. Without it, they don’t just become a little stubborn or mischievous—they can actually become stressed, anxious, or even develop behavioral problems.


Many owners assume that leadership means being harsh or overly strict, but that’s not true at all. Being a leader simply means being consistent, confident, and clear about what you expect. Just like children, dogs thrive when they know what is allowed, what isn’t, and who is in charge.
When rules constantly change, or there are no clear boundaries, dogs can become confused. If they don’t know what behavior is expected of them, they may start making their own decisions—and that’s when things can get messy.
What Happens When There’s No Clear Leadership?
When a dog doesn’t have clear guidance, behavioral problems can quickly develop—some of them quite serious. These are what we call The 7 Deadly Sins of Dog Behavior. Here are just a few common issues:
- Anxiety: When dogs don’t feel like someone is in control, they may become insecure, clingy, or fearful in new situations.
- Aggression: If a dog thinks they need to take charge, they may react by guarding their food, toys, or even their owners.
- Disobedience: Dogs who don’t have clear rules may ignore commands or do whatever they feel like, simply because they’ve never been taught otherwise.
When a dog doesn’t see their owner as a leader, that leads to a chaotic, unpredictable state where everyone is making decisions for themselves. This isn’t just frustrating for you; it’s also stressful for your dog.
Why Do These Problems Show Up Most on Walks?
Many Frenchie parents say, “My dog listens to me perfectly at home, but the moment we step outside, it’s like they forget everything!” If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
At home, dogs naturally fall into the family routine. They know when it’s mealtime, when playtime is over, and when it’s time to cuddle up on the couch. But the outside world is full of new sights, smells, and distractions—this is where their natural instincts take over.
If your Frenchie doesn’t see you as a confident leader, they may start making decisions on their own, whether that means pulling on the leash, barking at other dogs, or ignoring your commands. Walks become stressful instead of enjoyable because your dog doesn’t feel the need to listen—they’re too focused on reacting to everything around them.


Finding the Right Balance: Love, Structure, and Boundaries
Loving and spoiling your Frenchie comes naturally. You want to cuddle them, give them treats, and make sure they feel safe and happy every single day. But while affection is easy, leadership is where many owners struggle.
Setting boundaries and providing structure might not feel as fun, but it’s just as important—because a well-balanced Frenchie doesn’t just make for a happy dog, it creates a peaceful, stress-free home for the whole family.
Consistency: The Secret to a Confident Frenchie
One of the most important parts of leadership is being consistent. If one day you allow your Frenchie on the couch but the next day scold them for jumping up, they’ll have no idea what’s expected of them. Dogs don’t understand “sometimes” or “only when I’m in the mood for it.” They thrive when rules stay the same every time.
A Frenchie who knows exactly what’s allowed and what isn’t will be much calmer and more confident than one who is constantly guessing what kind of reaction they’ll get. When you’re consistent, your Frenchie feels secure, and that security leads to better behavior and a stronger bond between you. If you’d like some practical tips, read our article on how you can become your Frenchie’s pack leader.
Calm, Clear Communication is Key
Another essential part of leadership is how you communicate. If you call your Frenchie and they don’t come, repeating their name in a frustrated tone or chasing after them only makes things worse. Instead, use an encouraging voice, offer a treat, and reward them when they do listen.
Dogs take cues from your energy—if you stay patient, clear, and confident, they’ll feel much more inclined to follow your lead. A Frenchie who trusts their owner’s guidance will naturally be more obedient and relaxed, both at home and on walks.
You Don’t Need to Be an Alpha—Just a Leader
Leadership doesn’t mean being strict or dominant. Your Frenchie doesn’t need an “alpha” to control them, but they do need a leader who guides them with kindness and certainty. When you balance love with structure, your Frenchie will feel safe, secure, and more than happy to listen to you.
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Conclusion
Raising a Frenchie is a joyful and rewarding experience, but like all relationships, it requires balance. At the end of the day, our Frenchies are our babies—but they are also dogs, and dogs thrive when they are treated as dogs. We can love them like children, but we must respect their instincts, fulfill their needs, and guide them in a way that makes sense to them.
If you want to learn more about raising a well-balanced Frenchie or share your experiences with other passionate Frenchie parents, join our TomKings Frenchie Family on Facebook. It’s a wonderful community where you can ask questions, exchange stories, and connect with other people who love their furry companions just as much as you do.
This article was inspired by Learn to Speak Dog! Introduction to the Secrets of the Mirror Method by Vámosi-Nagy Nóra and Gyulainé Szak Enikő, based on the lectures and writings of Gábor Korom and the research of the Mirror Method instructor community (March 1, 2012).
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